deathbetothe3rd

Over the last 3 months, I've lost the following things indefinitely:

• Brittany
• Kelly
• The Whaler
  
• Jess
• The Tabtastic 4
• Novice Reading
• Blanca
• High School
• SAD

In short, everything that really mattered to me. Accept her, again.

So, to commemorate my losses over since June 7th, I am taking the following actions

1. Never posting in this journal again
2. Ignoring everything that happened before June 7th.

-Joe

In 1961 Wendell Scott, an African American, started his first race in the NASCAR Grand National (now Nextel Cup) division. In the 1963 season, he finished 15th in points, and on December 1, 1963 he won a race at Jacksonville, Florida on the one mile dirt track at Speedway Park -- the first and to date only top level NASCAR event won by an African-American. He continued to be a competitive driver despite his low-budget operation through the rest of the 1960s. In 1964, Scott finished 12th in points despite missing several races. Over the next five years, Scott consistently finished in the Top Ten in the point standings. He finished 11th in points in 1965, was a career-high 6th in 1966, 10th in 1967, and finished 9th in both 1968 and '69. His top year in winnings was 1969 when he won $47,451. He was forced to retire due to injuries from a racing accident at Talladega, Alabama in 1973. He achieved one win and 147 top ten finishes in 495 career NASCAR starts.

Since his win 4 other drivers have started a race in Nextel Cup. Those four combined have made only 9 Cup Starts. It took me 2 hours to find those four names

Given the information provided above, the current Idiot of the Week is: Wendell Scott, Jr.

Scott Jr, Scott's son, on Monday came out and bitched that his father was not recognized as much as Jackie Robinson was on last Saturday. Mr Scott Jr. seems to fail in recognizing that his father crossed color lines. Jackie Robinson destroyed color barriers. Jackie Robinson is an American hero, not for his actions, but because he paved way for countless after him. Wendell Scott paved the way for 4. 7 if you count Ron Fellows, Boris Said, and Juan Pablo Montoya. 

So Wendell Jr, for pretending your dad destroyed a color barrier when all he did was win a race, you're name will be raced to the rafters with those of Greg Oden and Jim Weaver as the April 2007 class of Idiots of the week.

This weeks idiot is awarded with saddened heart. I understand that this may be an inopportune time, but it must be done in the sake of the award. This weeks Idiot is: (Drum Roll) 
Jim Weaver, Athletic Director at the Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University. If Mr. Weaver had listened to my simple, helpful advice on how to name a college team (see: College Sports Mascots, below) this tragedy could have been avoided. I specifically mentioned the Hokies, too, which is why I take personal offense. You don't see any Eagles or Spartans committing the largest single act of violence in American history, do you?

Ok, so after having a huge emotional break-down last night, I decided to create a new weekly feature here on I Don't Like Wednesdays: The Idiot of the Week. Every week I will choose a different person who did something stupid and let you all be aware of such a person. If a person is deserviing of a second Idiot of the Week award, that person will be put on my Dead to Me list. Additions to the Dead to Me list will happen in lieu of an Idiot of the Week being awarded. Understand? Good.

The first person to recieve this grand honor is: Greg Oden.

After one full year of Basketball at Ohio State, Mr. Oden has evidently made himself open for the NBA Draft. Mr. Oden recieves this dubious honor, as well as being the catalyst for the entire Idiot of the Week system by using his Runner-up status to fuck over Joakim Noah, to ruin the 2008 Boston Celtics with his fouling tendencies, and reinforce the idea that the NCAA Division I has become a minor league for the NBA and NFL. 

So here's to you Greg Oden, the Honoree Primarius in The Idiot of the Week

The following is my updated list of things/people that are dead to me.

Michelle Kwan
Bode Miller
Cross Country Skiing
The Decathalon
Wyoming
Tony Danza
Greenland
Avon, MA
Jason Ma
The National Geographic Channel
Sports Teams in the MLB, NBA, or NHL from Canada
The NASCAR Dodge Weekly Touring Series
Catapaults
Fruit₂O
Mt. St. Helens
Shemp Howard
Blondie
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
Nadia Cornellio
Bob Dole
Czars
NEW
Needham
The Appalaichan Trail
The Oregon Trail
Danny Blackman
Al Gore
UMass, Dartmouth
AJ Allmendinger
All manner of Bodine
Milwaulkie, WI
Borat

Oh, and no plants either, The Ohio State University.
-Sterling

Ok, so the Revere Super Session is about College Football. That got me to thinking about College Mascots and, well, I have a few suggestions.

1.) No fake animal names - This doesn't mean "No names of fake animals" but rather refers to Razorbacks, Tar Heels, Hokies, Longhorns and the scores of other fake names for real animals. I hate to inform you, but you guys are the Pigs, the Goats, the Turkeies, and the Cows, respectively.

2.) Limited use of occupations - There are only 3 acceptable occupations to name a sports team after: Cowboys, Pirates, and Indians. Sorry Brewers, Tanners, Midshipmen, Cadets, Engineers, and Barbers.

3.) You can always, ALWAYS, use an ethnic group as a Mascot. Trojans, Spartans, Indians of all Kinds.

4.) Not really a hard rule, but if you're going to pick an animal that isn't native to the area where your school is, make it a tough animal.

5.) In that stride, no domestic animals. Bulldog sounds no more impressive to me than Hamster.

6.) No colors. I'm talking to you Harvard Crimson, Dartmouth Big Green, and Cornell Big Red.
-Sterling

Dear Klondike,
          I would like to take this oppurtunity to introduce you to my friend, the stick. While you may not be close now, I have a feeling you may actually get to liking one another. Y'see, I am of the firm belief that no ice cream novelty should be eaten with flatware. Therefore, I think the stick and you could soon become the bosomest of buddies. I hope you take me requests under advisement.

Sincerely,
With Ice Cream Goop All Over My Hands in Lansing.

• Fuller Good Guy
• National Debate Delegate
• 2nd at Holly
• Time Person of the Year
• Arrested
• Got permission from the Government to use my property on our property
• Registered to vote
• Pie at LS
• Broke Down and got an iPod
• Nobel Peace Prize Nominee
• RHSSAD President
• 737 SPL
• Eagle Scout
• Venturing Bronze

Altogether, not a bad year. "The only act of revolution left in this collective world is thinking for yourself."

Just a few, no big deal.

I resolve to say "I love you" to fewer people.
I resolve to tell more people that I love them.
-Sterling

PS Anyone who didn't see the Fiesta Bowl needs to go back in time and TiVo it.

I wish, for one moment...for one second in time I could be honest with myself and with those that I care most about. It seems that every night, I lie in bed staring at a ceiling that contains no answers, lying next to a bear filled with options, cursing a world full of solutions. It's not that I'm unhappy, I'm not. Everything seems to finally be falling in place for me now. Over the next month I should get accepted to college, get my license, get a trophy at Holly, buy a truck, and get the job of my dreams. It's all coming together, except I'm still lonely. I don't want  to really know why. I know why. "No woman chooses to live with a dishwasher." Thanks Nina.

On an unrelated note, I have been recently trying to persuade Johnny Feds to drop out of the school he hates and get a job. If there's anyone who thinks I shouldn't be doing that, please let me know.

On a tangent note, I have recently been trying to find a Dekember present for the attractive South American woman who has everything. Any suggestions/donations would be gladly accepted.

Also, to clarify, it's not because you're happy, it's because we could have been.
-Sterling

It has recently come to my attention that on top of, or because of, my unhealthy obsession for a certain decade I have no concious awareness of, I also find Joan Jett amazingly attractive.

Dear Pestilence,
      My greatest regret in all my life, truly the only thing I actually regret, is that we never found a way to both be in the same place at the same time. We have been through too much at this point, and I have fucked up too often. You were there for too long, waiting to be released upon my life, but I was too busy with my false dreams and false prophets. By the time I had realized that the first seal was open, or even that I wanted the seal open, it was no wonder you had moved on.

Dear War,
     What is it about you that won't let me forget what probably never existed? Time and time again I reserve myself: "War is not for me, but luckily another seal shall be opened and another Horseman released." But alas, all for naught. War, you tempt me back upon your fields of blood with promises of happiness and power and a right to bygone wrongs. I'd like to say those are false promises, but every now and again it seems so enticing.

Dear Famine,
     Here we are again, over and over, saying the same old things, thinking the same old thoughts. We both knew you were coming again. You always come after the second seal. I wish, truly truly wish, that I could embrace you. I've known that for a long time, too long, your secret's up. But you're here, and I'm not in a position to want to recognize it. I'm sorry for doing this to you, but these are the decisions that no one helps me make.

Dear Death,
     I want to deal with you. Slowly, daily even, I try to acclimate myself for you. I know that I ultimately want you, since frankly a life without you is only a life half lived. I just keep thinking, similar to the other 3 Horsemen, that there's someone else out there better qualified to deal with you. But I'm beginning to realize that you've all but hand-picked me and I might as well go down swinging then never chance it at all.

-Sterling (feat John the Revelator)

Being ill is plusungood given my life. It's hard to realize that you have a life, just not a high school life. I have at least a late-college life. I spend my time volunteering and managing and politicking and being a real person. I don't think that's appreciated enough in High School, but I hope it's appreciated in the college admissions process. I find it so senseless that I'm supposed to stop being a real person for 4 years to get a piece of paper that says I'm ready to be a real person.  

Upon further review, the reciever has copious amounts of adorable, surely enough for a first down. Ruling on the field is overturned, the Blue Jackets are not charged with a time out. 
-Sterling

So I was on YouTube and I watched the Boomtown Rats video for The Elephants Graveyard. Seeing them frolic on the beach/ battle Godzilla made me realize how awesxme they must be to hang around with.

"White turns black dies of heart attack"

On a different note, she perplexes me to no end. It's like this idea of who she is builds and builds for days and weeks and months until, in an instant, it all comes crashing down. Then, because I'm not smart enough to stop it from happening, I start building up the same idea of who she is. But still, every night, with that stupid looking bear she gave me on my headboard, I can't help but realize that she's a beautiful person trapped in a beautiful body and that even though I want so much to have a deep meaningful personal, emotional and physical relationship with her, I could die a happy man if I could hold her and have all my problems melt away and fall asleep with her in my arms.


"Guilty 'til prooven guilty"

So Jay apparently saw some bullshit about the Qur'an and 9/11. The conversation went as follows:
Jay: Check out the Quran verse (9:11); it's interesting
Joe: ok, brb
Jay: k, note the verse number
(At this point, I went to get my copy of the Qur'an - Ed.) 
Joe: (quoting .) But even so, if they repent, establish regular prayers, and practice regular charity, - they are your brethren in faith: thus do we explain the Signsi n detail, for those to understand

"It's Disney Land under Martial Law"

I gave her a teddy bear too, some time ago. That makes me feel all warm inside.

"She does her hair and calls her lawyer 'cutie' "

Before spellcheck, it said the Final Revelation from God to manking through the last Prophet, Muhammad, Peace be upon Him, which got me thinking: do Mankeys have religion?

-Sterling

He's passed on! This Crocodile Hunter is no more! He has ceased to be! He's expired and gone to meet his maker! He's a stiff! Bereft of life, he rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed him to the perch he'd be pushing up the daisies! His metabolic processes are now history! He's off the twig! He's kicked the bucket, he's shuffled off his mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleeding choir invisibile!!

THIS IS AN EX-Crocodile Hunter!!
-Sterling

Why do I have this, I often wonder. I never really catalogue a minute by minute happening of my day, written down for posterity. I rarely, if ever, use this as a vessel by which I discover something about myself. One of these days I might actually use it. One of these days, is right now.

I'm really excited about my Eagle Board of Review, I mean, it's been coming for some time, and I'm sure I'm prepared for it, but you gotta be a little aprehensive about something that's, effectively, the culmination of 11 years. Andy's letter about my Bronze Award is with Crom, I'm seeing him Saturday, which is nice. In Conclusion,

I really need to go grocery shopping. I wish my girlfriend didn't leave me.
-Sterling

So, for one reason or another, I feel the need to do one of these summer wrap-up entries. I was a scout. 50 days in green socks. This summer was different from the other two. In Ought Four I was completely wrapped up in Angelena. Still today I wish I had an opportunity to talk to her about what happened between us. It ended too abrupt, I think at least. Just half an hour alone to really talk out what I really meant, what she really meant to me. In Ought Five I had some pictures of Sodavy to remind me that I had something worthwhile to come home to. I really hate to have entire parts of my life longing for women I can't have, but it seems that that's how my life has come to be decided by. Well, I have my Scouting and my Forensics, but when it comes right down to it, I really want something temporary in my life. It's hard to explain, but in my service organizations I have to be concerned about the next guy. I may be SAD President, but I have to worry about the 2008 SAD President. I want something that I can fuck up. Something with no pressure to necessarily succeed. Looking back at this prose it seems like I might be talking about a girlfriend or whatnot. Thus was not by design. I mean, like, pottery. Something with no repercussions to just occupy my time. A passtime, a vice if you will. Any suggestions open. Also, you and I should do things. Call me.
-Sterling

CLOSED FOR THE SUMMER

For the remainder of the summer, all requests for autographs and locks of hair should be directed to:

Joseph Curran
c/o TL Storer Scout Reservation
1513 Province Rd
Barnstead, NH 03218

Thank you for your patience.
-Sterling

I hate waiting. Probably more than I hate just about anything. But I do hate a little bit more that I am clearly two Sterlings: a Winter Sterling and a Summer Sterling. In the Winter I play off my faults and shortcomings with self-depricating humor and hubris. In the Summer I get to play of my faults and shortcomings with not only self-depricating humor but also a feeling that I'm Camp Staff. Camp Staff is supposed to be goofy and silly and off-the-wall and have funny little quirks about them. Winter Sterling doesn't wear shorts. Summer Sterling doesn't wear pants. 
Being two seperate people with two seperate lives isn't really the worst thing about it. It's May and June that are. It's transisitioning between the two. Camp/ Race/ Camp/ Speech Tournament/ SAT/ Camp/ Camp is really not the way I want to live. Conor I think summed it up by letting me know quite clearly that it is plain to all who see me that this was all planned for me, in some cases years ago. I fancy myself a Rugged Individualist, I shouldn't succumb to all this.

On a lighter note, I have resolved to write a haiku right here:
A man without voice
A land with no ears to hear
A woman with eyes.

-Sterling